if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
