hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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