I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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