...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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