I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Boobs speak an international language.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize