YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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