just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
