We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
