I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
