After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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