Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
