is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
