and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
