OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
