I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
