a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
