He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
