ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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