It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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