how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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