i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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