im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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