i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
