I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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