If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
