I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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