Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hippo gnu deer
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
