i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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