Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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