While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
