I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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