It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize