So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
