we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
