He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
