3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
