Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
