i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All I want is dick and wine.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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