it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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