great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
