There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
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