we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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