my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
