Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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