Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize