somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
