I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
