Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
