Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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