I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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