Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think your dad took our porno
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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