I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
