Nicole vs. Life
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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