We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
