Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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