so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
