God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
