Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
